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After the Euro-America war in the late 21st Century the Earth had become a relatively peaceful planet to live on, the agreement to build a massive landfill site using the non-disposable rubbish of the two continents had proved to be the turning point and the gap between England and France was completed in the year 2112. The city of Landfillium (later renamed New Bognor) was built over the next forty years and became so large that in the year 2170 it was declared the capital of Europe. Problems arose in the late 22nd Century when a virus wiped out all the frogs and snails in France and many French starved to death as their staple diet was not available. Many had blamed it on climate change but the French blamed the English saying they did not allow English frogs to hop across to their borders, in a statement King Tony Blair VI decreed that all English Frogs, Snails and Sheep would be given British passports thus exempting them from being eaten by the French.
Due to the increasing amount of sheep now living will full pension rights in the United Kingdom it was possible to spot the planet from a further distance in the universe as a large fluffy cloud appeared to be growing out of the planet. In the year 2202 first contact was made with an alien life form that had been monitoring the “Giant Cloud Phenomena” and had sent representatives from the planet Zargon to investigate. In time the Zargonians had become regular traders with planet Earth and offered the new European President Tony Blair VII an option to resolve the “sheep problem”, an offer he was only too glad to accept!!
The Zargonians proposed that in the same way the convicts had first been taken to the new land of Australia the sheep could be transferred to a distant planet where they could live happy lives and still draw their British pensions. In 2210 the transfer of seven billion sheep to an unknown planet took place but by the year 2297 all contact had been lost with the sheep. The Authority Royal Space Earth (ARSE) sent a ship to investigate and upon their return ARSE reported that there were no longer any sheep on the planet which was now barren, the sheep had vanished but no one knew where…
In New Bognor the temperature was twenty-seven degrees centigrade on a warm December night in the year 2466, the bars and clubs were busy as they always were. In the French Fried Pub several Zargonians sat drinking gallons of Guinness mixed with Orange juice, unsure whether to visit the local curry house or maybe just get a Whale kebab and head back to the ship. Two of their colleagues had been drinking just the Orange juice and were now very, very drunk. The landlord Pepe La Pew had sent a holographic video of the two to the police – just in case any trouble started. Officers Earnest Jones and Mark Spencer were sent to the bar to remove the troublesome duo.
After putting them in the holding vehicle the Zargonians started to talk about a planet they had recently passed run by sheep – sheep who wanted to make contact with planet Earth because it was in great danger. At the station officer Jones contacted the World Atomic Nautical and Kinetics Society (WANKS) who dealt with all unnatural inner and outer space irregularities. Both Zargonians were taken to the WANKS headquarters for mind probing.
The WANKS mind probing device could now replicate the images in a three dimensional representation including speech, texture and colour, no other force on the planet had this amount of sophistication. All other global forces used the Black and White imagery of the dead dog mind probe.
Walter Henry Smith was the top man at WANKS his official Environment Reporter or as he was known to his friends and colleagues WANKER viewed the results of the mind probe; he questioned himself as to the legitimacy of the footage he was now seeing. He had to make a decision he could either dismiss what he had seen as a visual deception or report this to the highest authority available to him. The chip embedded into his finger scanned across the screen – within milliseconds the data transferred and all hell was about to break loose.